Diamond Geezers, Episode 60: We Are Sweden Under-21s
There’s palpable excitement around the town centre as the Nene Valley News hits the shelves on Thursday morning. After years of propositioning, Kim Källström’s umlaut party has finally come to Irthlingborough. I can’t wait to introduce him to the rest of the squad.
However, he’s going to have a few days to get to know Rhys Weston at the Nene Way elite sports and modelling complex, because they’re both ineligible for our European games, while the rest of us have got a nine-hour drive plus a long channel ferry to West Germany for the second leg of our UEFA Cup Second Round tie with SVW Mannheim. Chugger’s new and fabulously on-brand diamond-encrusted windscreen wipers are going to get the workout of their lives. In hindsight, we probably should have spent the money trying to work out why he billows black smoke out of his exhaust whenever the engine is running, but that’s part of his charm. It’s a little thing called style — look it up sometime.
It’s a long and arduous drive that gives me far too much time to consider my team. As mentioned, my superstar new signing is cup-tied, having played in Europe for Häcken already this season, while Weston didn’t make the cut for my original UEFA Cup squad; I foolishly chose Mad Dog instead. You can be sure that when I get to revise it later in the tournament, he’ll be included.
However, not having those two makes my job slightly easier, if anything. Combined with injuries to Costacurta, Farnerud, Benjani and Møller, virtually everyone in my first team squad will be either playing or warming the bench in Germany. Only Ben Dixon and Jamie Davies will miss out altogether; I’ve decided that we need upgrades to both. In truth the signing of Källström already pretty much means Davies is going to spend some time in the reserves after his poor start to the season. He was a young stallion in the lower leagues, but his inexperience is being punished in Division One. The potential arrival of Hysén will compound his position in the squad. Additionally, I’m only a work permit stamp away from getting Nelson Vivas until the end of the season, which would also mean Dixon can get some experience in the stiffs. As a result of my actively trying to replace them, it seems only sensible that they’d be the ones to miss out here.
The result of my over-thinking is the following team, which won’t come as much of a shock to the Rushden Ultras on their chartered flight from London Luton. I want Lucic and Rosário to be my established centre-back pairing, given the age and imminent decline of Costacurta and Couto; Victory and Duff are clearly my best full-backs; there’s not a man or woman on earth who’s going to tell Marcel Mahouvé that he’s not playing; Bubb and Andersson are my most productive midfielders in the absence of Farnerud and (prospectively) Källström; Baggio is the only man for the 10 role; and Samba continues to partner Javan as I attempt to create a lasting strike partnership.
We have a 2–0 advantage from the first leg, so I tell the lads to hit them hard and early to try to get the away goal that will virtually end the tie — and five minutes in, Martin Andersson collects a Samba knockdown and drills a low shot from the edge of the box that beats Mannheim keeper Christian Vander to give us a lead that will surely be insurmountable.
Our dominance only continues from there; Javan hits a half-volley that flies off-target, then tries a full one that also skims the top of the bar, before Cherno Samba is twice denied only by excellent saves from Vander. We’re all over Mannheim, but right on the stroke of half-time, they have their first attack, which results in their first shot on target, and wouldn’t you just know it, it’s 1–1 at half time.
I give the players a similar team-talk at the break — I want my lead back, and I want it back now. Roberto Baggio, who I’m not sure speaks any English, heeds my words like a native, and it only takes five minutes of the second period for him to collect another Samba pass, skip away from two Mannheim defenders, and wallop a high shot past Vander to restore our one-goal lead on the night. Mannheim are offering nothing in the opposite direction, and in truth, the game looks over. I make my subs but leave Samba on to see if he can grab his first senior goal, but some fantastic interventions from the German defenders and goalkeeper prevent him from opening his account. I’m disappointed for him, but at the end of the day, we take home a 4–1 aggregate victory, and even though he didn’t score, Samba was a nuisance up front and collected assists for both our goals. All in all, a very satisfying night under der flutlichter.
And once again, the real story of the round isn’t in Germany — it’s in Llansantffraid. Can you really, honestly believe what’s going on over there? In one of the most CM01/02 games ever, our good friends at Total Network Solutions have pulled off the two-legged giant-killing of the century.
We head directly from the Carl-Benz-Stadion to Vicarage Road, since our next game against Watford is only three days away and we’ll never make it all the way to Irthlingborough and back before kick off. It’s an arduous journey back over the English Channel — Jamie Davies’ seasickness means he voids almost his entire body weight before we land in Dover — but before long, we pull up into the away car park at the grand old stadium. Susan’s car is already there to greet us, and as we arrive, all four doors on her ’97 Ford Mondeo open. Out she steps, followed by Weston, Källström, and…
Two new superstar Swedes in the same week concludes a very satisfying round of transfer business. Hysén might not be the household name that Källström is, but there’s no doubting his ability and potential. I’m over the moon to secure him.
And in truth, it’s come at a good time. In setting up my team to face Watford, I notice the “Unh” label next to Byron Bubb’s name. I assume it’s because of competition for places, and I’d sympathise — there has never been a tougher Diamonds team to try to stay in. However, upon looking, I’m surprised at what his problem actually is.
Really, Byron? You were on a seven in a game we’d already won, so I took you off to give you a rest for our more important games. If only there was some way I could tell him that; the main limitation of CM01/02 is that the only way you can communicate with your players directly is through the medium of disciplinary action. I decide against giving him an official warning for Unprofessional Behaviour, and will instead give him game time in the hope that he cheers up. It’s not even pandering — you can see how great he’s been for us so far this season. Maybe he’s just overly competitive, or perhaps he’s been a closet brat this entire time. I guess we’re going to find out the hard way.
Even in spite of Byron’s tantrum, we are about to embark into a bold new era for Rushden & Diamonds. We enter the away dressing room at Vicarage Road with two brand new signings and some timely returns — Baggio’s suspension has started, but Farnerud is back from injury, and with Källström and Hysén both fit and available, my squad takes on a whole new dimension.
Martin Andersson needs an extended rest after his man-of-the-match performance in Germany, so Hysén takes a spot on the bench and Källström comes into my midfield to start alongside Mahouvé and Bubb in a central three that makes me well up with joy. Farnerud’s excellent start to the season, before his injury, is rewarded with an instant return in Baggio’s ten role, where I feel his strengths will be better accentuated. I’m tempted to put Källström in there, but looking at his numbers, all his best attributes are centre-mid strong points: Stamina, Work Rate, Teamwork, Aggression, Anticipation, Bravery, Determination, Strength and Passing are all 15+, perfect for an attack-minded but deep-lying playmaker. Sir Les replaces the tired Samba up front, my back five stay the same, and we’re at it again, but this time with wonderkids coming out of our ears.
I’m so excited that I don’t even look at Watford before kick off, but I probably should have — they’re 6th in the table, and there’s a reason why. The first half is incredibly even, with both goalkeepers regularly called into action; Marlon Beresford denies Byron Bubb on three separate occasions, showing that he’s not been affected by his unhappiness, while Pinheiro is forced to make smart stops from Heidur Helguson and Simone Perotta. I am fully clenched as the half time whistle approaches, since the game feels like it could genuinely go either way, and eventually the deadlock is broken: sadly, it’s Trond Andersen who lobs over a free kick and centre-half Shaun Came rises above Lucic to power home a header for 1–0 Watford.
Trond Andersen is running the show for the Hornets, so at half time I show a photo of him to Marcel Mahouvé and run my thumb across my throat. His eyes light up like the Devil’s headlamps; I suspect that problem is solved. Otherwise I don’t see much I can change — we aren’t being outplayed, just outscored. I send the lads back out and pray something turns around.
Five minutes into the half, Farnerud caps a fantastic team move with a close-range finish, but the linesman’s flag has been up since the start — Bubb had wandered melancholically offside. I’m quite frustrated as we reach the hour mark, since we’ve been on top for the whole half so far and are much the better team, but Beresford seems unstoppable — he saves from Källström and Victory, and it really doesn’t seem like it’s going to be our day. For all our plugging away, it doesn’t fee like we’re ever going to score, as Mahouvé passes yet another ball into the Watford penalty area towards Javan — who’s lost his man! Meysam Javan is clean through! Javan! GOAL DIAMONDS! Equaliser, Meysam Javan! For the first time today, Beresford is rooted to the spot, and my new second-favourite Swede ties us up at 1–1.
From here I feel like we ought to go on to nick a late winner, and make substitutions to try to make it happen — but it seems like all I do is disrupt our rhythm, and Watford come forward once more. Pinheiro flies around his goal to keep out Helguson and Gifton Noel-Williams, while Källström sees yet another effort tipped over by Beresford and then watches a long-range drive clip the top of the crossbar — and eventually, a breathless game between two extremely offensive teams finishes with what is probably the fairest scoreline — 1–1.
I’m not sure how Andersen got a 9 but Came was man of the match with an 8, but to be honest, I don’t really care — both teams had some top individual performances, but lacked a real cutting edge up front. I feel okay about an away draw at Watford; we could easily be staring at a defeat, after all. The result does mean we’ve sacrificed our chance to go top of the league on merit, though; our games in hand drawn, we’ll now have to work even harder to haul in Wolves, and keep our noses in front of the chasing pack.
I’m happy with my debutants as well. Even though they both finished on 7s, I thought Hysén looked dangerous when he came on and Källström was a metronome in midfield, making plenty of passes, headers and forward runs, and having as many shots on goal as anyone else — on another day he could easily have scored twice. My defenders, again, were outstanding; both my full-backs are invaluable assets, and while Lucic and Rosário both finished on 7s, they are growing into a solid, dependable partnership. Plus, my worry about Pinheiro’s declining form is all but evaporated.
And it’s come at just the right time, because not long after we arrive back in Irthlingborough, a large, sleek, familiar black and white bus pulls into Nene Park. Welcome back, Mr Shreeves. I see you’ve brought Mr Shearer with you this time. Let’s dance.
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