< Episode 11 Five days after that stunning win against Welling, I’m still exhausted just from thinking about it. Not only the manner of the victory, against virtually all odds, but also the importance of it in this title race. I said it last time, and I’ll say it again…

< Episode 10 It’s a quiet drive home from Maidenhead after that loss. I’m not too disheartened, in truth; we were, once again, the better side. You’ve got to focus on that at the end of the day. Losing is part of this nonsense — as long as your players…

< Episode 9 As the proud owners of a new 1994 lime green Ford Transit minibus with just 240,000 miles on the clock — it’s new to us, okay? — we’re buoyed by the fact that we can all drive to games together rather than having to jump in separate…

< Episode 8 I give the players as long as they want to wind down and celebrate their recent form after the Weymouth game. I have been leading by example, after all — I’m pretty sure I’m the most hungover person in the history of Hornchurch Football Club, and therefore…

< Episode 7 With a big shout out to the Coronation Street Ultras, we begin today with preparations for the visit of Bristol Rovers to The Stadium in what is easily the biggest game of my tenure. …

< Episode 6 Steven Watt and Adam Birchall’s loan deals are coming up soon. I ask Chelsea and Arsenal if I can renew them with my most politest voice, and as expected, they scoff at me through their caviar sandwiches. That means we’ll lose Watt after our next game against…

< Episode 5

< Episode 4 Sarge and I head to The Raj of India on Upminster Road to celebrate that comeback win over Grays; he’s become something of a well-paid confidant to me since my two assistant managers are always bickering over who gets to move the little magnetic pieces around my…

< Episode 3 I awoke several hours later in a daze. After the disappointment of that last-minute draw against Weston-super-Mare, the long, silent journey back to London, and a night of pickling my internal organs in the Windmill with Jorge and Sarge — who can really stick pints away, you…