There’s a lot left to muddle through if we’re going to be champions of Europe.
Our upcoming run of fixtures is enough to give even the most hardened Ultra an excuse to spend an extra five minutes in the toilet before kick-off. Schalke are top of the Bundesliga, and they’re followed up by a trip to everyone’s least favourite bunch of chancers, Real Madrid — who have just replaced us as league leaders, the bastards.
Well then Ultras. What a journey it’s been. We’ve come such long way together, and I don’t just mean the miles we’ve clocked on Chugger. This has been a truly epic journey so far.
Remember our first season when we had Sergio and Adolfo in the D2B3, beat Barcelona B 7–0 thanks to a Lio Tarachalski hat-trick and spent half our time driving back and forth to Catalonia? Or the second, where bloody Valladolid pushed us all the way to the Segunda Division title and I was seriously worried about our first season in La Liga, even…
Okay everyone. It’s time to get aroused. We’re just two La Liga games away from our trip to the Delle Alpi, and I couldn’t be less ready or more excited.
Speaking of those two games, here’s how they go.
Real Madrid it is then. Champions League Quarter Final, first leg at La Cartuja, second leg at the cauldron of the Bernabeu. They’re going to be a massive pair of occasions.
First up though, we’ve got some business to attend to in La Liga — starting with those green bastards down the road.
I’ve almost forgotten about that horrendous run we were on just a month or so ago. We’re now unbeaten in nine and have won our last seven in a row — not a bad way to prepare for our final two Champions League Phase 2 Group games against AC Milan at the San Siro, then Arsenal at La Cartuja. The group is so finely poised that we’ll almost definitely need to win one of those ties; it is true that two draws would see us through, but there’s no way I’m playing for draws. …
Two months without a Champions League fixture means we’ve got a whole lot of domestic games to power through. La Liga and the Copa del Rey are coming up, but I know what you want, dear readers. You already know we can win La Liga. You know we are the current owners of the King’s Cup. While I’m sure you’d love to see us win the treble, the main thing you’re after is not another domestic trinket — it’s a continental crown. I know you, and I see you. Your wish is my command.
As such, we…
With a hangover the size of the Alcázar following the commiserations from our defeat to Racing, I hold a cold towel to my head as Chugger splutters through the miles north through Spain, into France, and up to Calais, where we’ll get a €16.99 ferry over the Channel and bungle ourselves into London. It’s not an ideal way to arrive at Highbury, I’ll be the first to admit — especially since we’ve had to leave Skalidis at home on the physio bench — but it’s the only one we’ve got.
That win against Milan feels like an…
With our Champions League group drawn and games against Arsenal, Celtic and — first — Milan to look forward to, our interim league game against Oviedo doesn’t feel that important. And, as such, I plan to put out a thoroughly unimportant team to face them just as soon as this international break is ove-